Specially for..

Dear readers, i would like to point out that this post is specially dedicated to Gerald Wei Shen and my Mom, he is still a mysterious kid to me as i hardly know him, but most of the time i see him as a playboy and he certainly doesnt mind me seeing that way, which is good. Then again, you would ask me, why of all the people i could choose from and i had to dedicate one post to him? Good question. I am starting to know this guy better and he isnt quite the playboy as i thought he was but i think he is just another average guy who hungers for more and extreme flirts. Gerald Wei Shen told me he had the shock of his life this week, i asked him what it was but he didnt told me anyway but from the muscle strains on his face and head , i could conclude that it is a complicated matter, however not one i should concern myself with though! :)


24 days till Chinese New Year, ops! i meant 24 days till i head back to melbourne for another semester, and correction that CNY will arrive in 2 days or 1? well whatever, doesnt really matter...it has always been the same ...and as i get older, my red packets get smaller, but do i really care about the money i get during CNY? come to think of it, i never really got to use them, even when my parents gave me quite a big sum of money for a small kid like me i always had them kept it for me and i never really used them. and its Been 18 years and i have never bought anything thats more than $50 without asking them well, unless its clothes and only recently my record was only RM$100 something for a pair of pants :P


My Cousin's Girlfriend is coming on the 15th Feb. i believe, and how exciting and i really look forward to welcoming her to brunei and show her around although theres nothing too much about haha, then again we've always told her about our stories in brunei typically those events in tutong and interesting characters in tutong and how i would often say that every tutong-ian is unique and special in their own way.If she comes, it would be something of "Words became reality" or some sort of thing. my cousin and i call her P.L or short form for Pei Lee haha. She has been very nice and helpful to me when i first came to melbourne and to be honest , she has an exellent character and wonderful personality and we met her mother too, she was as funny as hell for an old lady, great to have fun with and she told us she was a Fan of the guy who sang "Negarakuku" my god, thats hillarious. Talk about old women who's into this sort of things, my mom wouldnt even let me sing that song and critise, scold and destroy in everyway she could if she ever heard that song in the house.


My Cousin said He'll probably bring P.L to Tutong for one night and i have a hunch that she might want to stay at H.P Halim Plaza for the night because she keeps saying its inconvenient to stay at my place, jeez! dont worry though, i will make sure she stays overnight at my place! :D and my cousin wants to take her to empire too and spend another night tere, that makes it two nights in brunei, great! thats enough to know brunei inside out haha, and hes invited us over too, even better! wohoo, i get to swim(although thats not my real motive), i just want to show her around brunei :D yeah!


I wish i could write a resolution for my brother but unfortunately, i cant, i have always seen him as "Zhai Nan" or those guys who spend most of the time at home and i hope he could change that, yes everyone says theres nothing wrong being zhai nan but!! he seriously needs to go out more and see the world outside and learn how to socialize better as i have gone thru the same that he is going thru right now and ofcourse, his brother knows best! oh wait..but most importantly..he should seriously be more hardworking and improve on his studies first, which i have always tried to help by teaching him but i always ended up arguing with him and doing his homework for him, which means i failed as a teacher already :'( ah wells...

My mom, has been nothing short of a double volcano lately, shes been bursting out her anger whenever she feels like and on whoever she feels like without having consideration to others at all, well ofcourse that is nothing new but this time, its EXTRA angry-ier. Why is my mom like this? everyone else dont have their moms scold them without a reason except me, i studied with extra caution i am concluding that my mom is the fierce-est of them all in her family, she even scolds her elder sisters, shame on her, everyone knows her for her "Angry Rage" when shes in a bad mood. Even my dad is also a victim of my mom, although my dad said shes never like this when he just met her but my dad hinted that maybe he treat her too well and loved her too much that he spoilt her and she took advantage of that. My dad always says we can never change her anymore as for example, if a seed tree is planted, you could only change it and adjust it while it is still young, if the tree is fully grown and a really old one, you cant change, u cannot change the shape of the tree, that is also the same...my mom has grew up like this so i cant do anything about it. Then again, i shouldnt always look at someone that way because of their weakness, for everything that has a bad side, it certainly has a good side as well, we shouldnt look at people badly just because they are 'bad' at somethings, instead we should just live with it as we ourselves have to look at ourselves in the mirror and say "hey..im not perfect too, i also have my weakness". Another reason why i should continue living like this is maybe perhaps because she is my mother? i should be thankful for her because if it wasnt for her, i wouldnt be here typing all this, i would not have came to this world. And ofcourse if you're ever reading this mom, im sorry if i ever offended you mom but everytime if i ever did, it was a big mistake and it always hurt me to do those things, just like most people would say, you're the only and greatest i'll ever have and i respect you for bringing me up to me i am today althogh i only take the good things from you haha..although i stil dont like you scolding people for no reason.please dont be angry at me but that is what i feel.


And the last but not least, me , i have been a punch bag for everyone recently, they like to throw whatever shit at me, vent their anger at me for no reason, i may appear OK outside but i am dying inside, but i need to be strong ...i need to live on with this...the good things will come after the bad ones..i know it will, and it shall..

I know its not easy trying to change one's self but i will keep trying...with enough courage and confidence, i know i can do it...life is wonderful..


"The Ending of a story is the Beginning of another." The journey is still long, and i need to continue moving forward...i want to be stronger than life...i want to fullfill my dreams(realistic ones).... no matter what shit others say or rain on me, let them say what they want...Does a new year really mean a new start? perhaps everyday is a new start, every hour, every minute, every second...and everytime..that is a new start....


One of these days i wanna go to the beach and relax there, armed with a pen, a notepad and my ipod loaded with sentimental and instrumental hits, what a great feeling it would be! the calmness, the breeze blowing at me, and write whatever that would be in my mind and preserve the moment although i wish someone would be with me though...nevertheless...ah well..


Thanks for reading! You're impressive if you're read this far! :P
i had fun typing this all out and feel so much better!, i just cant keep it in me, and i found out words could tell my story and it did...im going to continue watching titanic later which i was watching halfway last night and fell asleep watching it :D yes! i didnt watch it when it came out 11 years ago waat a shame! but today i will watch it!


Take cares and have a fantastic Chinese New Year eventhough some of you may not be celebrating but do have a great time!


-Sou Wei-